Final Fantasy Odd
by Stilleas
Summary: Holy friggin' crap! All the characters from FFIV to FFX and even FFT are here, in one story! Invited by mysterious letters in scarlet envelopes, the FF characters must work together to defeat all of their past villains.
1. The Letters in Scarlet

Key- **Double asterisks mean that I, the glorious and God-like writer am talking**  
  
*Asterisks announce that an action is taking place*  
  
Red letters mean that Jesus is talking  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything in this story! That means that all Final Fantasy stuff is SQUARE's, The Wizard of Oz is MGM's, and George Washington is the property of American History class. Ha-ha! You can't sue me!  
  
**I've decided to write another fic based on what would happen if you would put all of the characters from Final Fantasies VII through X together in a single room. If this is all too familiar, it's because this came to me so easily that someone else MUST have already done it before. Also, in this one, I'm being a little more serious, following the character's personalities, and have somewhat of a storyline. Okay. Enough stalling, I present:**  
  
FINAL FANTASY ODD  
  
*As the story begins, we see Tifa sitting on a bed in Cloud's villa in Costa del Sol*  
  
*Cloud comes into the bedroom*  
  
Tifa: Cloud, you look upset. What's up?  
  
Cloud: I was checking my mail and this fell out of one of the advertisements. *Hands Tifa a letter in a scarlet envelope*  
  
Tifa: *Reading letter* You have been invited to an exclusive party at the Gold Saucer. Be present Tuesday evening, sharp. You may bring seven friends. *Looks up at Cloud* That doesn't sound all so bad.  
  
Cloud: I know, but I just get an eerie feeling, like when you know someone's gonna pull your pants down, but not where.  
  
Tifa: What are you talking about, Cloud?  
  
Cloud: I just don't know...  
  
Tifa: Well, I'm going! If you wanna stay here, then... then... then stay!  
  
Cloud: Okay. At least I'm gonna get to keep my pants.  
  
Tifa: Sure. *Gets up and leaves*  
  
*The scene changes to Squall and Rinoa in Squall's dorm at Balamb Garden*  
  
Rinoa: Squall?  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Rinoa: Why are you always quiet and creepy?  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Rinoa: You're always like that! Lighten up!  
  
*Selphie walks into the room*  
  
Selphie: Hey, guys! Squall, I'm gonna use your computer.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Selphie: *Logs on to Squall's internet*  
  
Computer: You've got mail!  
  
Selphie: Mail! I'm checking it for you. *Clicks on the mail icon and begins to read* You have been invited to an exclusive party at Fisherman's Horizon. Be present Tuesday evening, sharp. You may bring seven friends. *Stops reading* That sounds fun! Why don't we go?  
  
Rinoa: Yeah! And maybe this'll give Squall a chance to act like a normal human being. What do you say, Squall?  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
*Now we see Dagger checking the mail at the castle in Alexandria*  
  
Dagger: Junk. Junk. Garbage. Crap. Fanmail. Fanmail. Fanmail. Huh? What's this scarlet one doing in here? *She opens it up and sees the all-too- familiar letter. Reading it to herself, she goes to Ashley's Bar to tell Zidane about it*  
  
Zidane: I say we go for it! It'll be the best adventure that we've had since the whole Kuja thing! Anyway, it's just a party at Lindblum.  
  
Dagger: I guess so. But I just get this eerie feeling about the whole thing...  
  
*Vivi walks into the bar looking for Zidane*  
  
Vivi: Zidane! There you are! I was-  
  
Zidane: Hey, Vivi, wanna go to a party? Maybe we can find you a girl!  
  
Vivi: Sure!  
  
Zidane: Then it's settled. We're gonna have the time of our lives! Tell Rusty to hurry if he's coming! *Walks out of the room, patting Vivi's hat on the way*  
  
*Tidus is now shown, coming out of the Blitzball Dome in Luca. Wakka and the other Aurochs are sitting in the locker room waiting for him*  
  
Wakka: Wow, man, Tidus sure is late, ya?  
  
Aurochs: Ya!  
  
*Tidus comes into the room*  
  
Tidus: Sorry I took so long. I... uh, got something to show ya', Wakka.  
  
Wakka: Lemme see it!  
  
Tidus: Alright, here, let me get it.  
  
*Just as Tidus reaches into his pocket, Yuna, Lulu, Kimahri, Rikku come into the room. Yuna is the first to speak up*  
  
Yuna: Tidus, you are hiding something from us. What is it?  
  
Kimahri: How Yuna do that? Always, Yuna know what Yellow Hair say. Kimahri not know.  
  
Yuna: If you shut up and sit real nice, Kimahri, not only will I give you a doggie treat, but I will also tell you, when the time comes, that is.  
  
Kimahri: ...  
  
Yuna: Now, Tidus, tell me. I can see it in your eyes. It is a letter, but there is no address.  
  
Tidus: Whoa! Right on!  
  
Lulu: May we see it?  
  
Tidus: Sure, here ya' go.  
  
Lulu: *Reads the letter*  
  
*Silence*  
  
*Silence*  
  
*Silence*  
  
*Silence*  
  
*Silence*  
  
Wakka: Hey, Tidus, Rikku! One of you should be encouraging us to go right about now, ya?  
  
Rikku: 'Kay, I'll do it! Ahem! Why don't we go?  
  
Tidus: Yeah, this'll be a great relaxer!  
  
*They leave and head towards Besaid, where the note said to go*  
  
What will happen next? Find out in the second chapter:  
  
Portals and Sociopaths or The Party's On! 


	2. Portals and Sociopaths

**When we left our heroes, they had all received letters from an anonymous person. I am a skitz. Back to the story.**  
  
*Open scene to the Gold Saucer. At the entrance stand the FF7 heroes: Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Cid, Aeris, Cait Sith, Red XIII, and Vincent. Yuffie couldn't come. She's a jerk and the team hates her.*  
  
Cloud: Tifa, how did you talk me into coming here?  
  
Tifa: Black magic... er, I mean... black magic.  
  
Cloud: Guess I can't complain...  
  
Barret: Shu' up, botha ya'! Somethin's comin'.  
  
*As Barret says this, a shadowed figure is seen coming up towards them*  
  
Vincent: I have a bad feeling about this...  
  
Shadowed Figure: Hi guys! *We see it's Yuffie*  
  
Cid: (Lotsa cursing)  
  
Vincent: This is worse than I ever could have suspected.  
  
Yuffie: C'mon! Didja really think I wasn't coming?  
  
Red XIII: You should be ashamed to show your face here, thief of materia.  
  
Yuffie: Yeah, well you're all hairy and red!  
  
Cait Sith: Sorry, Red, it's true.  
  
Red XIII: That hurts on the inside.  
  
Aeris: Hey! This party's gonna be fun!  
  
Yuffie: Aeris, can I have Holy?  
  
Aeris: No!  
  
Yuffie: I'll give ya' a gil!  
  
Aeris: No!  
  
Yuffie: Oh, it's not fair! Hey, what's that?  
  
*Suddenly, another person is seen coming up near them*  
  
Cloud: Sephiroth! I thought we killed you!  
  
Sephiroth: Yes, anything would make a little more sense...  
  
Cloud: What's that supposed to mean?  
  
Sephiroth: Hah hah hah! Pathetic humans. This is what I meant! *Sephiroth dashes at Cloud, Masamune held in front, and cuts off his pants*  
  
Cloud: See, Tifa! I told you!  
  
Tifa: *Has one of those anime faces. You know, the one where the character is just completely surprised and their eyes are six times normal size. Yeah, that one*  
  
Cid: Well, he was @#$% right about that.  
  
Barret: 'Bout what?  
  
Cid: Sephiroth said that just about everything makes more sense than that.  
  
Sephiroth: Now that I have embar- huh? Hey, you! I killed you.  
  
Aeris: Auto-Pheonix. Quite nifty.  
  
Sephiroth: I see... Anyway, I have formulated a whole new plan to take over the universe.  
  
Yuffie: Oh, God, don't tell me that you plan to burn the world's supply of pants and cut off the ones that people are already wearing, such as what you did to Cloud.  
  
Sephiroth: Not anymore, I'm not. That was my other plan. The one that I planned to execute once I had control of the universe. But now I have another one, one so evil and twisted that not even you can put a stop to. Ah hah hah hah hah hah hah! *Sephiroth holds his arms in the air and transports the party, Yuffie, and the stupid guy in the chocobo suit into another dimension.*  
  
*Change scene to FH, the FFVIII party is now getting off of the Ragnarok*  
  
Rinoa: See, Squall, this doesn't suck.  
  
Squall: Yeah, right. This has gotta be the most boring and out of the way town in this friggin' game.  
  
Irvine: Well, I'd say that the underground one with the annoying worm- looking people better fits along those lines.  
  
Seifer: Why did you bring us?  
  
Edea: Yes, I really wouldn't mind knowing myself.  
  
Selphie: There were two invitations left over, so we thought we might invite some of our closest friends along for the party. So I say we get down there and PAR-TAY!  
  
???: You're not going anywhere, foolish humans.  
  
Zell: HOLY @#$%! IT'S ULTIMECIA!!!!!  
  
*The entire party turns around to see that the evil sorceress is standing near the Ragnarok, blocking them from their airship*  
  
Ultimecia: You thought you had defeated me, but you cease to realize that I am immortal!  
  
*As she says this, she at the same time is transporting the group and herself through dimensions*  
  
*Now Zidane, Dagger, and the rest (even Quina. You know, that obese thing) are with them as they all arrive in Lindblum, the only city in the world where people still trust each other enough to keep their doors unlocked, but little enough to keep the soldiers in work. Go figure. Ahem! On with the story!*  
  
Amarant: This place is perfect. You thinkin' what I am, Zidane?  
  
Zidane: Oh, yeah! We can hit every house here before they ever notice a thing!  
  
Amarant: No, fool, I meant the pickles. Those things are so heavenly.  
  
Steiner: Let's eat some right now!  
  
*But as the two walk off, the same now-familiar crap happens, Kuja replacing the replacement for Sephiroth*  
  
*If you can guess what happens to the FFX characters, good for you. If you haven't, you obviosly either haven't played the game far enough, if at all, or you just aren't bright at all*  
  
Where are our thirty-one heroes and the chocobo guy going? Find out in the next exciting and somewhat comical Chaper 3: Time Travelers or Villains Play Toys! **Yet to be written** 


	3. Enter George

**Betcha didn't expect that title, did ya'?**  
  
*All of the FF characters had been thrown into some other dimension. What this place is, and why they are here, they do not know. What they do know is that the villains obviously want to kill them. At this moment, things are just a tad bit weird, at least for this screwed-up series, but it's just about to get worse...*  
  
*The characters from FFVII are the first to arrive in this strange world. The guy in the chocobo suit is nowhere to be seen... for now...*  
  
Cloud: Where is this?  
  
Barret: @#$%, man, this is confusin'!  
  
Sephiroth: Welcome to my new world. This is the world that I created with my own powers. Do you like it?  
  
Cid: No, this place @#$% bites!  
  
Sephiroth: I'm sure you'll get through it quickly enough. I'll be waiting...  
  
*Suddenly, he does that thing where he kinda hovers and then flies away, leaving something such as an item or a boss monster. I dunno. I guess it just depends on his mood at the time. Anyway, let's just call that "Pulling a Sephiroth" when he or anyone else does that again*  
  
Yuffie: Hey, look, a materia! I want it!  
  
Red XIII: You don't deserve anything after what you said about me.  
  
Aeris: I'm sure she didn't mean any harm by that. Did you, yuffie?  
  
Yuffie: Uh-huh!  
  
Red XIII: Hmmph!  
  
Vincent: Something approaches.  
  
*Sure enough, something was approaching, and fast*  
  
Approacher: HALT! WHO DARES TRESPASS ON THIS LAND! IDENTIFY YOURSELVES!  
  
Cid: Yeah, and who the @#$% are you, asking us that out of the blue like that?  
  
Approacher: I asked you a question! If you refuse to answer me, I WILL be forced to take certain actions.  
  
Barret: Shut the-  
  
Cloud: My name is Cloud Strife, and these are my companions. Now answer us this: Do you work for Sephiroth?  
  
Approacher: S-S-Sephiroth?! W-w-why, do you?!  
  
Cait Sith: Just answer the dang question!  
  
Approacher: I would not dare defy him, but no, I do not work for the Evil One.  
  
Tifa: Then, may we ask your name?  
  
Approacher: Of course you may! I'll just not dignify it with a response.  
  
Barret: Ya' know what? Screw you, ya' @#$% homo!  
  
Approacher: So you wanna know that bad, huh? Fine. My name is George Washington, but you can call me Number One for short.  
  
**I promised you in the first chapter, remember?**  
  
Yuffie: We're gonna kill Sephiroth!  
  
George Washington: Oh, my God! Is that possible?!?!  
  
Cloud: We've already banished him from our world. If you'd like, we can destroy him here, too!  
  
Tifa: I think that he flew off in that direction. Let's go, Cloud!  
  
George Washington: I'm coming with you!  
  
Vincent: Should we head in Sephiroth's direction, we will be taking the most obvious route.  
  
Aeris: Are you saying that we should go out of the way and have 70+ hours of battling and exploring and stuff?  
  
Vincent: I was merely stating a fact. I suggeest, though, that we head straight for him.  
  
Cloud: I get it! He let us see where he went so that we would follow him that way. But he knows we're more clever than that. He knows that we'll go around the smart way. He wants to take us head on.  
  
Yuffie: Well, I say that we go around. It'll give us a chance to learn the land better.  
  
George Washington: I know this entire area. If you decide to go that way, I'm gonna have to come! Anyway, there's a wizard to the east that has great power, though it cannot come close to rivaling that of the Evil One Sephiroth's. His name is Ahzzoriu, after the place where he lives but people simply call him "Ahzz."  
  
Cloud: So that's it then. We're off to see the wizard.  
  
George Washington: The wonderful Wizard of Ahzz.  
  
Aeris: We hear he is a wonderful Whiz, if ever a Whiz there was.  
  
Random Chorus Plucked From a Certain MGM Film: If ever oh ever a Whiz there was, the Wizard of Ahzz is One because because because because because becaaaauuuuse... Because of the wonderful things he does!  
  
Cloud: We're off to see the Wizard!  
  
Yuffie: The wonderful Wizard of Ahzz!  
  
*Random Chorus Plucked From a Certain MGM Film leaves in one direction, while Cloud's party heads in the other, George Washington tagging along behind. The music ends along with the third chapter in this epic quest*  
  
What will happen next time? How the @#$% should I know? But it'll involve some FFVIII characters, I promise you that. *Deceitfully* And you just know that you can trust me... 


	4. Ultimecia's Bandage of Doom

*When we last saw the FFVIII gang, they were being sucked into another dimension with the help of Ultimecia. Let's watch them........................................................................ ........... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ..............................................................Okay, now let's watch them while they do stuff*  
  
Squall: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Rinoa: Wow, what a rough trip! I hope I didn't ruin my pretty blue dress!  
  
Squall: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Squall: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Squall: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Seifer: SQUALL! WE LANDED TEN MINUTES AGO! GEEZ!  
  
Squall: Ummm... I knew that!  
  
Irvine: Hey is Ultimecia still here?  
  
Ultimecia: Right here, you fool!! And now that I have you here in this world that I created, you no longer have the advantage!  
  
Zell: Umm, Mrs. Ultimecia, Ma'am?  
  
Ultimecia: WHAT?!  
  
Zell: Yeah, you're stepping on my foot...  
  
Ultimecia: Oh, I'm so sorry! Here, have this Band-Aid!  
  
Zell: Thanks, I guess.  
  
*Zell reaches for the Band-Aid, but Ultimecia pulls it away just before he grabs it*  
  
Ultimecia: Psyche! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
*Silence for a few seconds*  
  
Ultimecia: Oh, I'm so sorry. That was cruel. C'mon, here's the Band-Aid.  
  
*Zell reaches for it, but Rinoa quickly pulls him back*  
  
Rinoa: Zell, don't do it! She's just screwing with your mind so that soon your mind won't be able to tell the difference between truth and lies, and you could become her evil servant and do her bidding as she commands it! She's just using you for her own sadistically evil purposes! Please, Zell, please, I'm begging you not to take it! If you do, she will have complete and total control over you!  
  
Edea: Rinoa, please do quiet yourself. The Band-Aid is long gone and Ultimecia with it. Thanks to you this entire chapter has been wasted!  
  
Selphie: Not true! We still have quite a bit to go!  
  
Squall: Anyway, it doesn't matter. Let's go now. I think she went that way, to the North.  
  
*So the heroes set out on their journey to the North to defeat Ultimecia and return to their own world. But just as they begin, they run into Cloud and the rest of AVALANCHE*  
  
Barret: Who the @#$% are these jokers?  
  
Zell: Why the @#$% do you care?  
  
Barret: Hmph. Ya' got the words, but ya' ain't got the additude. Ya' gotta scare yer enemies b'fore a fight.  
  
Cloud: Enough. Who are you people, and what is this place?  
  
Edea: You mean to say that we are lost, even to the locals?  
  
Cloud: B...but I thought you were the locals...  
  
George Washington: These are not locals. And even if they were, they still wouldn't know this land, at least not the land as it has been in recent years.*George Washington turns and faces the FFVIII crew* Tell me, where were you headed? A company as large as yours could not be simply wandering about.  
  
Irvine: We're off to defeat an evil sorceress to return home. Her name is Ultimecia.  
  
George Washington: WOW! You plan to defeat Ultimecia!? How? Why is it that I keep meeting those who wish to challenge the Four Unholy Ones?  
  
Red XIII: The Four Unholy Ones?  
  
Our heros have met not only some strange characters, but have met some of each-other! Ultimecia and Sephiroth seem to be somehow connected to a mysterious group called the "Four Unholy Ones." What could this mean? Four? There are only two of them! To find these answers and more obvious crap, make sure to read the next exciting chapter of FINAL FANTASY ODD!  
  
*Insert DBZ Music* 


End file.
